Summertime Sadness

"I got my summertime sadness."

"I think, I'll miss you forever,

like the stars miss the sun in the morning skies."

- Lana Del Rey, Summertime Sadness



The song kept on playing inside my head. The lyrics itself - is about someone (Lana) who is sad because of the death of her loved one. I do like sad songs, but a sad song about lost loved one - is not my kind of sad song.

...But, not for Summertime Sadness sung by Lana Del Rey. I do know what it is about, but that June - I fell in love with the song...and I kept on repeating the song on my phone. 


The reason was quite simple: I love the lyrics and the way Lana sang it.


"I think, I'll miss you forever,

like the stars miss the sun in the morning skies."

Especially in that part. For God's sake, it has a special place in my mind, and in my heart.


That time, I always thought about how sad that would be, if we would never, ever meet our loved ones anymore. Just like the stars miss the sun in the morning skies, they would never meet. If we were the stars, we would miss the sun forever...


...


July 24, 2017


It was just an usual day where the sun would melt my skin...

An usual day where people would love to apply sunscreens on their skin.

It was just a day in the Indonesian version of summer, where the temperature would reach 34C.


But then, everything changed --


When one of my loved ones, my grandma, on that hospital bed - didn't breath anymore. Me, and my whole family have never, ever thought that she would go forever. We always thought that she would heal.


My world became so blurry after I realized that I would never meet her anymore. I was so close with her. I lost someone who was always support me when I was down.


My world now looks different without her.


...


"I got my summertime sadness."


"I think, I'll miss you forever,

like the stars miss the sun in the morning skies."

I played my favorite song again, and feeling like the stars in that song, who will miss the sun forever.


Rest in peace, my grandma.



--Ayu, September 2017

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